I have effectively retired from society. I don't see friends and I am not close to many people. I have few connections of any kind. I am enjoying this in big ways. My mental health has been better. My anxiety and depression feel almost under control. Contributing to this, I believe, is informed self consideration. I enter now into introspection with better understanding about what is happening to me. I can self reflect more precisely and I feel better at understanding what I discover during self reflection. This and a calculated withdrawal from social life have seen my overall mood improve somewhat.
Said withdrawal remains in progress. I continue to close avenues of distress. Ways into suffering. I've separated from social media as much as possible. And I ignore the stressors therein when I must engage. This has meant abandoning some relationships but that is OK. My life has no social dimension. Trying to make my life have a social dimension is like trying to change the fundamental geometry of a shadow. I know this from decades of experience. Socially I'm depthless as a shadow and I have hated myself for that. Embracing the truth about myself has been a worthwhile endeavor, even if it has meant the dissolution of some relationships. I feel relieved.
It might be said that I am retreating from my problems instead of confronting them. I am open to considering that interpretation. But I'm not interested in justification. I prefer to describe rather than to explain. And I'm comfortable ignoring pressure.
Said withdrawal remains in progress. I continue to close avenues of distress. Ways into suffering. I've separated from social media as much as possible. And I ignore the stressors therein when I must engage. This has meant abandoning some relationships but that is OK. My life has no social dimension. Trying to make my life have a social dimension is like trying to change the fundamental geometry of a shadow. I know this from decades of experience. Socially I'm depthless as a shadow and I have hated myself for that. Embracing the truth about myself has been a worthwhile endeavor, even if it has meant the dissolution of some relationships. I feel relieved.
It might be said that I am retreating from my problems instead of confronting them. I am open to considering that interpretation. But I'm not interested in justification. I prefer to describe rather than to explain. And I'm comfortable ignoring pressure.
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