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I Don't Feel Safe Talking About My ASD

I've been watching a show called The Good Doctor.  It's about a young surgeon with autism.  I started watching it because I was curious to see how the show would depict a high-functioning autistic person.  Often, we are portrayed as compulsively fastidious human computers.  The show seems to want to do better than that, but it has to be broad sometimes, and it's a medical drama so it has to be dramatic.  The main character also has savant syndrome, perhaps because the writers wanted to avoid the stereotype that HFA people are all supergeniuses.  A surgeon with ASD and savant syndrome isn't realistic, but then a lot of the medicine in the show isn't realistic either.  The main character is yet another autistic human computer, and I'm somewhat conflicted about that, but I make allowances because it's just TV and, while living with autism is a challenge, real life is generally boring.  It's nice to have some representation and to feel like the showrunners are at least trying to be sensitive.

The main character, Dr. Shaun Murphy, is played by Freddie Highmore, an actor I like.  As far as I know, he's neurotypical.  Some time ago, I tried idly to find online a list of autistic actors, but all I was able to find was Jerry Seinfeld saying that he thinks he might have Asperger's.  That doesn't count in my book.  Dr. Murphy does some things that I do and I like seeing that because I know other people are seeing it.  Many are misinformed about autism.  That makes it hard to talk about being autistic.  I'm always afraid that people won't believe me.  My friend made a date with me and then immediately changed the time of the date.  This was upsetting and I didn't know how to talk to him about why it was upsetting.  I didn't know how he would react, so I didn't know what to say.  I wanted to tell him that one can't make abrupt changes in plan with me because of my neurodevelopmental condition, but I didn't know that he would understand that.  I thought it much more likely, based on what I know about him, that he would dismiss anything I said to that effect.  Better information in the media will increase awareness, but I know there are always going to be people who reach bad conclusions no matter how much good information is available to them.

Life with autism is a complex struggle.  People like things that can be summed up simply in about 45 minutes.  The Good Doctor is trying to present a neat package of interesting TV with an accessible portrayal of autism that, hopefully, will make the condition more real for people.  I hope that it does because I don't feel safe telling people that I'm autistic.  I don't expect to feel safe everywhere all the time, but I would like to feel safe around my friends and family.

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