After my daily walk I sat on my porch to read. A group of young men passed, talking. One of them looked at me and said in greeting "Boss man." I think I said hello, and I might have waved. I don't know why he did what he did. Maybe it was a display for his friends. I wonder what they thought of it. Did they think him confident, dominant, reverent? Were they impressed? If so, why?
It doesn't occur to me to greet strangers. Sometimes, people who live where I take my walk will wave when they see me. I don't recognize them. They must see me every day, but I don't see them unless they wave at me. And then I don't remember anything about them.
I walk with headphones on, listening to playlists. Atrium Carceri, some indie and folk stuff, sometimes video game soundtracks. I focus on the road ahead of me, trying to keep from counting my steps (2/second) or from stimming: clucking glottally, finger dancing. I like it when an ingressive cluck occurs just right and I feel it on both sides of my throat equally. I obsess about symmetry. And I like certain finger positions, the flow of some movements one to the next position. Stimming - self stimulating against torrential thoughts. I think about my balance, my gait, the sensation of wearing clothes, of the light and the heat of the day, and of the juxtaposition of the treetops against the sky. The clouds, how to draw them, where the light and the shadow come from, their shifting features, and what birds see. The trees are old and some of them were around before humans.
This is what I think about when I walk. When I pass people on their porches, I don't even consider greeting them. I only see them in my periphery and then I forget they were there. The same people who, apparently, remember me. Maybe because I'm from outside. Or because I look funny. I take it for granted that I'm invisible but I'm not. I'm pretty funny looking.
I don't know what made that person call me "Boss man." It's happened before: a fake greeting. I never understand it. Did he recognize me? I didn't recognize him. What makes strangers want to speak to each other? I don't know. I'm from outside. My radar doesn't sweep for people to include in my mental picture of the world. I don't like pictures with people in them. I prefer trees, clouds, bright skies.
I'm not Boss Man. That must be the joke. It's irony. Maybe I should have replied, "Good evening, admiral."
It doesn't occur to me to greet strangers. Sometimes, people who live where I take my walk will wave when they see me. I don't recognize them. They must see me every day, but I don't see them unless they wave at me. And then I don't remember anything about them.
I walk with headphones on, listening to playlists. Atrium Carceri, some indie and folk stuff, sometimes video game soundtracks. I focus on the road ahead of me, trying to keep from counting my steps (2/second) or from stimming: clucking glottally, finger dancing. I like it when an ingressive cluck occurs just right and I feel it on both sides of my throat equally. I obsess about symmetry. And I like certain finger positions, the flow of some movements one to the next position. Stimming - self stimulating against torrential thoughts. I think about my balance, my gait, the sensation of wearing clothes, of the light and the heat of the day, and of the juxtaposition of the treetops against the sky. The clouds, how to draw them, where the light and the shadow come from, their shifting features, and what birds see. The trees are old and some of them were around before humans.
This is what I think about when I walk. When I pass people on their porches, I don't even consider greeting them. I only see them in my periphery and then I forget they were there. The same people who, apparently, remember me. Maybe because I'm from outside. Or because I look funny. I take it for granted that I'm invisible but I'm not. I'm pretty funny looking.
I don't know what made that person call me "Boss man." It's happened before: a fake greeting. I never understand it. Did he recognize me? I didn't recognize him. What makes strangers want to speak to each other? I don't know. I'm from outside. My radar doesn't sweep for people to include in my mental picture of the world. I don't like pictures with people in them. I prefer trees, clouds, bright skies.
I'm not Boss Man. That must be the joke. It's irony. Maybe I should have replied, "Good evening, admiral."
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