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Uber VS Unter

I went to the law offices of Schad and Schad to meet with the legal professional who is helping me with my disability claim.  I used Uber to get there and back.  I waited in the parking lot for the driver who would take me home.  The driver called me, angry.  He'd gone to the wrong address and blamed me.  The app had given him the wrong address but because it didn't matter I apologized anyway and said that I had made a mistake.  He and his GPS spoke Spanish, so I did too.  I said "Soy autista" so he would know why I was being quiet.  I was so anxious that I didn't notice until there was no way off the bridge that he was taking me to Louisville.  We were going the wrong way, into the wrong city, but I couldn't say anything.  I was paralyzed with anxiety.  I was ready to be deposited in a strange place.  That seemed better than correcting him.

He changed course before I could say anything and returned over a toll bridge to Indiana.  I was relieved that the situation had resolved itself but it's definitely bad that I froze.  If he had stopped somewhere in Kentucky I would have thanked him and then contacted Uber after he left.  I told the legal professional and he found the story relevant and he reported it to the SSA.  My anxiety and my communication problems present real personal risk.  I could end up in a bad situation because I'm afraid to talk to strangers, which is funny because as a boy I was told the opposite.

I can hear now people asking why I couldn't say anything.  The situation was urgent.  Why couldn't I fight past shyness?  I don't have an answer for that.  I'm sorry.  I can't tell people how to consider others.  But I should try to make an explanation work.  Here: I legitimately lack certain significant musculature of thought, or the muscles are deformed, nonfunctional, not having attained normal maturity.  But my thoughts are strong in other ways.  I'm pointing to neurobiology.  Simpler: my house has one story and yours has two.  Why don't I just go upstairs?

I know that there are things I can't do and I'm still learning what's possible. What's real about me.  Both denying what I can be certain about and starting from a position of certainty lead me to no discoveries.  All I can do is consider and reflect honestly.

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