Restaurants should have quiet sections. People seem to have an impulse to socialize. Sometimes strangers will attempt to converse with me. I don't know why. I think it safe to say that this impulse probably has some relationship to a neurological event. This neurological event doesn't happen in my brain. I don't experience the impulse to socialize. I wonder what it's like but I expect that many who do experience the impulse would be unable to describe it. I don't see the point of making small talk even when it's explained to me.
Strangers might begin talking to each other about nothing at any moment. Maybe they want to soften situations. Or to display some intent. I can only guess. When they talk to me they are asking me to invest in them. Suddenly I have to indulge their impulse. I have to make them comfortable at my own expense. I don't know what they're going to say, what they might want, if they could be dangerous, or how they see the situation they've created. If I humor them, will they think I want them to continue talking to me?
People seem hostile in their demands that I engage them in ritual pleasantries. They bother me to nod and smile. What comfort do they take in this? I have no explanation. I'm baffled.
Those helpful few who try to exlain often point to politeness. Leave people alone. That's my rule. That's polite to me. Leave me to do the things that I'm forced to go among you to do that I may return sooner to the shelter of my own company. Socializing is extremely stressful. Overexposure to the public is significantly upsetting to cause me to have seizures. After an unscheduled outing, I am enervated and I need a day to recover. All this being as it is, it's not necessarily that I don't want to socialize. It's that I'm unable to want to.
In closing:
Questions arise when I express all this. Why can't I get over it using any of the methods that have worked for someone else? What about mind over matter, cognitive behavioral therapy, or just trying harder? Comments emerge from incredulous people. That is ok. What I'm talking about is not an attitude problem but a persistent, clinically significant issue related to a pervasive multisystem medical condition. Some won't accept this explanation. That is ok too.
Strangers might begin talking to each other about nothing at any moment. Maybe they want to soften situations. Or to display some intent. I can only guess. When they talk to me they are asking me to invest in them. Suddenly I have to indulge their impulse. I have to make them comfortable at my own expense. I don't know what they're going to say, what they might want, if they could be dangerous, or how they see the situation they've created. If I humor them, will they think I want them to continue talking to me?
People seem hostile in their demands that I engage them in ritual pleasantries. They bother me to nod and smile. What comfort do they take in this? I have no explanation. I'm baffled.
Those helpful few who try to exlain often point to politeness. Leave people alone. That's my rule. That's polite to me. Leave me to do the things that I'm forced to go among you to do that I may return sooner to the shelter of my own company. Socializing is extremely stressful. Overexposure to the public is significantly upsetting to cause me to have seizures. After an unscheduled outing, I am enervated and I need a day to recover. All this being as it is, it's not necessarily that I don't want to socialize. It's that I'm unable to want to.
In closing:
Questions arise when I express all this. Why can't I get over it using any of the methods that have worked for someone else? What about mind over matter, cognitive behavioral therapy, or just trying harder? Comments emerge from incredulous people. That is ok. What I'm talking about is not an attitude problem but a persistent, clinically significant issue related to a pervasive multisystem medical condition. Some won't accept this explanation. That is ok too.
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