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Pearls of Clarity

Symbolism isn't important to me.  This can cause problems.  To many, symbolism is of great importance.  If I say that I'm not interested in participating in ritual symbolism, said people can interpret that as a round rejection - or even as scorn.  Many it seems are wired to look for symbols everywhere no matter what.  They can hardly be blamed.  Symbols permeate human interaction.  Even language as a system is symbolic.  But I'm not wired that way.  I am wired for the explicit.

I can interpret some symbols as easily as anyone else can.  Others, often common ones, confuse me.  And I frequently become confused about whether someone is employing symbolism or not.  When thus confused I make no decision in any direction.  I abandon the investigation.  Even when I understand symbolism, symbols only obscure meaning.

I don't know why people want to obscure meaning.  So I assume they do so for nefarious reasons.  If I assume this is never the case, then I risk being taken advantage of.  If I assume it's always the case, then I might think the worst of someone who means well.  But I am comfortable with that because I am more afraid of being manipulated to bad ends than I am of alienating people.  If there is a middle ground, I must reach it by a feat of learning I can't accomplish.  I'm not sophisticated enough in my cognition to learn to interpret symbols confidently.

Alienation is inevitable with me.  Because of certain specific peculiarities of my neuroanatomy I can't manage some easy cognitive tasks.  Others I struggle to manage.  If I decide not to trouble myself with symbolism anymore, I alienate those who can't communicate without symbols.  And if I try to play the interpretation game, I fail, I misunderstand, and I'm alienated anyway.  I resolve this tension by embracing alienation, leaving the symbologists to their work, and enjoying what pearls of clarity I can find on my own.

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