I went to my disability hearing. I sat in a room with my legal counsel and a stenographer. The administrative law judge was in another state, so she appeared on a large TV monitor. In the room with the judge was a phone with a vocational rehabilitation expert on speaker.
The judge asked my legal counsel some questions. Then she asked the voc rehab expert some hypothetical questions. Then she asked me some questions. I don't know how I did. I wish I'd had the opportunity to prepare what I would say. I tried to be clear and concise. I entirely forgot to address her as "your honor." My legal counsel said afterward that he thought the ALJ wanted to decide in my favor. As of this writing I am still waiting for her decision to arrive in the mail.
The thought that I might be denied what I deserve because I mispoke or failed to explain something adequately is disquieting. I am grateful though that the hearing was recorded; the ALJ can watch the whole proceeding again to inform her decision. Maybe she will get from that some idea of the insurmountable obstacles I face in the workforce. But there's no way one interview could be sufficient for anyone to grasp the scope of my struggle.
I don't look disabled. My extremities are intact and functional. My cognitive function is normal. I'm like one of a pair of pictures in a spot-the-differences game: you have to look hard to see how I'm not like others. Each subtle difference has a big impact. The human condition is a machine with a million interlocking parts. Some of my parts are abnormal and, small though they may be, each abnormality makes a significant contribution to my disability. Considered together, the myriad parts of my personal human condition make up a misshapen experience - or at least one that isn't productive within neurotypical homogeneity.
What I mean is that one hearing isn't enough to assess me. Hypotheticals can't describe my real experience. I hope the administrative law judge makes her decision with that in mind.
The judge asked my legal counsel some questions. Then she asked the voc rehab expert some hypothetical questions. Then she asked me some questions. I don't know how I did. I wish I'd had the opportunity to prepare what I would say. I tried to be clear and concise. I entirely forgot to address her as "your honor." My legal counsel said afterward that he thought the ALJ wanted to decide in my favor. As of this writing I am still waiting for her decision to arrive in the mail.
The thought that I might be denied what I deserve because I mispoke or failed to explain something adequately is disquieting. I am grateful though that the hearing was recorded; the ALJ can watch the whole proceeding again to inform her decision. Maybe she will get from that some idea of the insurmountable obstacles I face in the workforce. But there's no way one interview could be sufficient for anyone to grasp the scope of my struggle.
I don't look disabled. My extremities are intact and functional. My cognitive function is normal. I'm like one of a pair of pictures in a spot-the-differences game: you have to look hard to see how I'm not like others. Each subtle difference has a big impact. The human condition is a machine with a million interlocking parts. Some of my parts are abnormal and, small though they may be, each abnormality makes a significant contribution to my disability. Considered together, the myriad parts of my personal human condition make up a misshapen experience - or at least one that isn't productive within neurotypical homogeneity.
What I mean is that one hearing isn't enough to assess me. Hypotheticals can't describe my real experience. I hope the administrative law judge makes her decision with that in mind.
Comments
Post a Comment